♦ question of "optimal frustration" I knew that Kohut's idea of "optimal frustration" had been challenged by Bacal and he proposed the idea of "optimal response". But in my clinical practice, I feel that concept of frustration seems to be nessecery, because life itself is full of frustration. When I say "life is full of frustration", is it just one of assumptions? If it is, I would like to ask what will be antithesis of this assumtion?
When I first pick up the book of Lachmann: <Transforming Narcissism", I found out one interesting chapter "Expectations: Affirmed and violated" that I thought might be related to the above topic. But after I read it, I find it does not say much about this, even in the index, the word of "optimal frustration" does not appear. So in the community of self psychology, is there a consensus that this concept is no more useful?
In one paragraph, lachmann said: "in therapy, expectations - met , supassed, or violated - are found along a range that is tilted towards the pleasurable end, whereas in life this is not neccessary so." When I was reading here, I was expecting that he might say something about how the pleasurable expereince in therapy might transfered to the general life or not tranfered. But he did not go alone this line. I pussled.
Now I am back to China, after 20 years of being in Australia, I am treating one 30 years old woman who stayed at the home and was supported financially by her mother ( there is no social security in China). She has no any friends and does not want to go out. I sometimes find that I seems to create a kind of refuge for her but it dose not tranfer her into going out to the society. What ideas among self psychology can help me to help her to deal with such a not easy surviving environment of China?
(She may not be able to pay me after some time, so the therapy can not be open end. )
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