With the welcome boost of the ECP scholarship I was encouraged to attend my first IAPSP conference in-person in Washington, D.C. That in itself was a rich experience, with a personal highlight being the meeting of the Couples Therapy Special Interest Group.  At this conference I was able to make the acquaintance of my assigned mentor, Gordon Powell, LCSW.  From that first encounter we quickly found together an open warmth and ease of connection. I soon felt grateful to be matched with an individual who readily balances such an obvious and deep compassion for people, with bright intellect and a sly wit!

Over the course of a year, and ten meetings on Zoom, Gordon partnered artfully with me as I sought to read, think and feel my own way further into practicing from Self Psychological and Intersubjective Self Psychological perspectives. We launched our collaboration by discussing Kohut’s Forms and Transformations of Narcissism.  In retrospect, I see how the ambitious human developmental scope of that work limned out many of the directions our exciting conversations would take.  How fortunate for me that Gordon could pivot on a dime: from following my most urgent clinical concern of the moment, to helping me unpack a critical concept, to nurturing my unique capacities as a mature student and clinician, formed outside the usual psychoanalytic institutional framework.  These sessions with my mentor also helped me further process and personalize the learning we ECP candidates were afforded in a year-long series of seminars with senior clinicians, specially curated for us by ECP coordinator, Shake Topalian.

Gordon’s way of engaging helped mentor me toward a deeper grasp of Self Psychology and Intersubjective Self Psychology. He embodied a generous way of working with clients that felt natural and right to me, every time we sat together.  At the close of our year I felt so very much at home. But this feeling was different from that first enthusiastic meeting in Washington, where I passionately—perhaps guiltily—confessed all the things I needed “to hurry up and learn in order to do better for my clients!”  Sitting together on our last Zoom call I wondered, inwardly, “what is this different feeling?”  Calm, humble, collegial.  This huge developmental shift for me, into a mature kind of professional twinship, is surely a marker of the value of our collaboration.

Sheila Gill, MA, RP

Sheila Gill is a Registered Psychotherapist in Ontario, Canada, with a private practice serving individuals and couples. With a background in sociology and equity studies, and decades’ long immersion in the mind/body practices of the yoga tradition, somatic attunement and embodiment are foundational to her clinical work.  Mom to two young adults, Sheila lives in Toronto with her partner and two cheerful dogs.