When I think of my experience as an ECP recipient, I’m still in awe of the ways it’s shaped me as a professional, as a clinician, and as a human being.   Around two years ago this somewhat freshly graduated provisionally licensed career changer in his early forties was getting on with his work as a therapist in Chicago. There had been a pull to psychoanalytic thinking from the start, so I found myself in a two year fellowship at the Chicago Psychoanalytic Institute—dabbling in classes and study groups.  While participating in the inaugural one year certificate program in Integrative Psychoanalytic Couple Therapy, its Director, Carla Leone, told me about the IAPSP ECP scholarship and encouraged me to apply.  The couple therapy program was proving to be a game changing learning opportunity for all involved, but I have to admit that I was a bit intimidated by what Carla suggested about this IAPSP ECP thing.  There were a lot of letters in that acronym, and after learning about the organization’s rich history and accomplished membership I wondered if I was ready for such a plunge.  But Thankfully, I overcame my usual self-deprecating reflexes and tossed my hat into the ring.  I’m so incredibly fortunate I did.

Sadly, my father had passed away around the time my ECP experience officially started, so I was not able to attend some of the first meetings. But Shaké Topalian was so kind and helpful, I still felt included and cared for.  Around this time, Shaké also connected me with Marc Sholes who would serve as my mentor for the year.    Marc and I fell quickly into a monthly rhythm of discussing patients and process within my caseload. His mentorship became a galvanizing selfobject experience, and by the end of our time together I made the decision to become a candidate at the Chicago Psychoanalytic Institute—I’m now half way through my first year.  Without the encouragement and in-depth discussions Marc provided, I believe I’d still be fretting about gathering the courage to become a candidate.

The experience of mentorship was then supercharged by talks and opportunities thoughtfully curated by Shaké.  She arranged a string of virtual meetups in which a cohort of ECP recipients were given quality time with major voices within IAPSP and in the field of self psychology at large.  Shaké also made us aware—and continues to do so—of important talks and events other pertinent organizations offer.  She has her finger on the pulse of the community, fostering such awareness within all of the ECP cohort.

And if month to month ECP activities and mentorship establish a steady steep, the IAPSP Fall Conference marks an all immersive instantaneous surge—and my first conference in October 2022 made me realize just how much of an opportunity the ECP scholarship represents.  First off,  as a newer therapist working to establish myself,  it would have been extremely difficult to afford the registration, travel, and lodging to attend my first conference without the scholarship.  Secondly, the experience of being an ECP recipient at the conference was overwhelming in the best of ways.  The learning and sharing of so many ideas and topics, the warm welcome from IAPSP membership, the recognition for being awarded this honor within the proceedings, and the comradery with other ECP recipients coalesced into a profoundly impactful handful of days I’ll never forget.   And by the time my second conference rolled around, it felt like a return to family.

Currently I am participating in an engrossing four session analytic writing workshop taught by Suzi Niaburg that’s been arranged for ECP recipients.  While taking part in this workshop with fellow recipients across the country, I can often be struck with a feeling of disbelief at just how lucky I am to be engaged in such an opportunity. I’m also often struck with how much I have grown since being awarded the scholarship.  As my career progresses and my theoretical orientation is shaped, I continue to bring the ways I’ve grown to my work as a clinician and to my ongoing analytic training at the Chicago Psychoanalytic Institute.  Hopefully, what I’ve shared in this essay will help to vigorously punctuate the vital importance the ECP program can have in the course of a budding therapist’s journey, as well as in the continuation of the field of self psychology.  I believe that the cornucopia of voices wrapped in all the mentorship, encouragement, and learning I’ve received via the ECP program has worked to shape a burgeoning self psychological voice in me.

Todd Frugia, MFA, MA, LCPC

Todd Frugia works in Chicago, IL where he resides with his wife and 10-year-old son. Todd is a first year psychoanalytic candidate at the Chicago Psychoanalytic Institute and has recently started a private practice.